I’ve told the students that this year I will be retiring as a teacher. I’ve turned in all the necessary paperwork to the State and now I prepare to close out a school year for the final time. How do I say good-bye to this teaching life after thirty two years in the safety and routine of this profession?
I know…I’ll wake up earlier each morning on the school days I have left, making sure I’m ready to savor all the moments of my remaining time. It’s slipping away quickly, after all. I’ll smile at all the kids in the hall and hope they don’t notice the wistfulness in my eyes. When that one child tilts back in his chair or the girl in 2nd hour rolls her eyes at me again, I will pretend not to notice. Instead I’ll make time for the one who drew me a picture on the bus, the one who wrote a poem, and the sweet ones who call out, “See you tomorrow, Mrs. Laaksonen!” as they leave for the day. I’ll hold these memories close and relish the last of them. While the students work, I’ll play music with lyrics everyone knows, so I can hear a few quietly singing along when the chorus plays. I’ll dream up reasons to be outside together. We’ll read in the sunshine and write under the shade of trees. I’ll encourage a quick game of “Tag”and watch them dodge and dart through the white dandelion puffs. I’ll let the sound of the laughing and teasing and happiness soak right in.
And when the final moment arrives and that school bell does ring, I’ll steal myself and prepare to say good-bye. But I won’t. I can’t. It’s too much to ask. I’ll just let myself leave. I’ll walk through those doors a different person, a better version of me. All these years of service have changed me. So I’ll slip through that door, out to my car and off on a new adventure because it’s time.
They said you’d know when it was time. They were right.
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