I retired from teaching last spring after 32 years of alarms set for 5:45 a.m., lunch breaks spanning 22 minutes, four minute bathroom breaks, upfront and “on” from 7:25 to 2:45, and meetings following with hyperlinked documents (oh, so many tabs.) This Fall… all of it stopped. That crazy hamster wheel of teaching that I had been scurrying on my whole adult life rocked and settled to a stop. As ready as I was to step off that wheel, I’ll admit the transition is strange and a bit unsettling.
All of the sudden I’m untethered in a way I haven’t been in a very long time. I find myself marveling at the sunrise as I leisurely start my mornings. For so many years I was inside and already in the midst of teaching a lesson when the sun was coming up in all of its orangey splendor. So filled with awe and wonder, I take photos of the sun rising over the lake by my house and text the pictures to my family and friends. They might think I’ve gone daft.
The hours following the magnificent sunrises remind me of childhood summers. I have all day to do whatever I choose. Like a seven year old me. It’s weird and fantastic. I walk the dog, pet the cats, read my book, watch tv, bake cookies, go out to lunch, and sit in the sunshine. I think I’ve read more books in the last 6 months than I have in the last 5 years. I even joined a Book Club at our local bookstore and had the book read before the meeting—waaay before the meeting! I also signed up for an art class that meets on a “school night!” Sometimes during my wide open days, I work on the little tapestry sampler assigned in class. Ahhh, yes. It’s all quite lovely until I hear that pesky little voice.
That little voice of old “Teacher Me” nags, “What have you accomplished today?” It’s a mindset that’s hard to shake after a career spent honing efficiency and productivity. Even as I write this, I feel compelled to list all the strides I have taken to shape my “second half,” but I will resist.
I worked hard for a long stretch in a high pressure environment. It’’s okay if I just rest a minute and revel in this feeling of being 7 again.
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