It’s mid-July and the “feels like” temperature is hovering at 100 degrees outside. I give up on skimming the pool, head inside, and soon find myself mindlessly watching the Kelly Clarkston Show as Kelly harmonizes the song “Beautiful Disaster” with actress Amanda Seyfried. It’s a song about trying to save someone you love, but my mind reworks the lyrics to replace the “him” with my long held love for the institution of public education. The lyric “He drowns in his dreams” makes my eyes well up. The dream of a free and public education for everyone is such a beautiful endeavor. We, those of us called to do this work, are drowning in our hope to reach the ideal of helping each child realize his or her potential while also helping them make friends, core memories and the most of this pivotal time for cognitive growth.
Kelly and Amanda belt out the ending lyric, “If I could hold on through the tears and the laughter, it would be beautiful, such a beautiful disaster.” I’m now a mess, tears rolling down my cheeks, because I know I couldn’t “save” public education. I am just one voice in a small, rural school, watching the same dismantling of the institution alongside teachers across the country. But I did hold on “through the tears and the laughter.” The tears of losing funding for programs like our home economics and woodshop class, in addition to intiatives we knew helped students like teaming and a true middle school approach. The tears of abandoning the integrated thematic unts we had designed to meaningfully connect learning across the content areas. Instead teachers were made to follow mandates for more time explicitly teaching skills needed for those high stakes tests. Tears for the high stakes testing that threatened to pull back funding if students didn’t perform. Tears for the high stakes testing that made students anxious, interrupted instruction for weeks, and left teachers feeling defeated. Lots of tears over the loss of teacher autonomy and the student-centered learning that is developmentally appropriate and intrinsically motivating.
Despite this rubble of time-tested educational practices littered at our feet, teachers soldiered on and there was still laughter and joy in the moments when we, as a class, shared our ideas and supported each other through nods and smiles–sometimes through polite and respectful disagreement. Students started each day reciting the Pledge of Allegiance, learned to play musical instruments, went on field trips, participated in school dances, and goofed around together at recess. Sometimes during the work time in class, my students would beg to listen to our class playlist on the surround sound speakers. I usually acquiesed under the condition that they work with quiet focus. Many times when the song reaches the chorus, they quietly sing along together, and my heart swells. It’s beautiful. The goal of public education is lofty, but the time children and teachers spend together is everything. Trust me–it changes us for the better.
Yes, public education is a beautiful disaster.
Note: I’ve attched the segment that inspired this reflection. Enjoy-
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